This is frustrating. You try to write anything possible, but your heart isn't in it. Your mind continues to tell you to write whatever your heart desires-but it doesn't want anything at the moment! At this point while I am writing this, I have gone through at least 7-8 paragraphs of writing what I think is nonsense, I've been just starting over piece over piece. It's not even a writers block. It's a.....writers' heart, loving block?
At first I was writing about observations and how those we see and hear reflect on our own actions and personality, but it just didn't work out so I stopped and went back to my 12 942 409 drafts that I have and found that I started writing a piece about how we are all in a dishonest society. It all ties up with the introduction of being observant. I didn't bother finishing the writings at all because it just doesn't feel right. Yes, I can make the words appear on the screen and just continue to type up whatever it is, but if it's not interesting why do I bother to continue? This is exactly what I'm feeling right now. Whatever this writers block thing is, needs to stop. I'll continue to write until it goes away, but there's no guarantee good work is being put out. Believe me, I have tried everything that usually gets me creative and all super pumped up to write. I tried reading other people's blogs, listening to James Bay, then other artist and even took a break from writing and read whatever I had back to myself. NOTHING. It is so frustrating because as much as I need to post a certain amount of blogs in a certain amount of time I have, I will not be publishing crappy blog posts like some of my peers have been producing. Sorry to say that but if you are reading this and you happen to be in my class, you know it's true. You've said it yourself. Everyone is never always good at something instantly. A lot of people compliment me with my writing, but they never realized that I struggled to get to where I am today. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in a blog post already but I'll say it again because I think it's super important for people to understand that it takes practice and true passion to succeed. I used to hate writing because I knew I wasn't good. English isn't my first language so, I was already struggling to learn everything. Still today, I have a lot of troubles with my tenses, I will unconsciously switch from past to present. I never wanted to write because I felt that it just made me feel worse since I don't know how to fix it. Then, somehow, this transformation occurred within me around grade seven and eight and I just wanted to try writing. I was growing up, and I was reading more. Writing became an interest, and I wanted to know how people can write such a beautiful piece. So I started writing little things, testing where my mind takes me and that's it, that's where it all began. Of course, I continued to tell myself that my writing wasn't good so that motivated me to do better. I look back and ask myself what I could do better or what were the things that I did in a piece that was really well done that can be transfer to another piece. As I did that, I got myself here, where you are reading now and how people see me today. Okay, so writing that wasn't as bad as I thought, but I have no idea if I should post this or not. I like to think that it is good though that I feel this way and I'm writing a lot even if it doesn't get publish. I have grown to be comfortable and used to this blog that I feel I can say whatever I want but still be able to get my message across. Anyways, if you see this post (if I do choose to post), congratulations, you survived World War Three. *Yes, I did say this to my previous post too but oh well*
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I need to find him. I was determined to find Perseus through all this dark, light nonsense. He needs to help, he needs to know and understand. What exactly did he need to know? I'm not fully sure on that but I know it revolves around me. As selfish as that may sound, I need this.
My mind is constantly filled with emotions and thoughts I've never experienced with before and it's totally something that's strange and different. I don't wish to vividly imagine hurting myself in any way, but I don't know how to fix everything when I feel so broken down. Constantly my thoughts go back to Perseus. At the moment, he seems like my saviour. So, let's hope he is. The first thing I knew I had to do was go to Madeline. She was the easiest target to reach Perseus, so I slowly made my way back to her apartment, also known as the demon place. Whenever I find myself in that atmosphere, I tend to lose it. Although, it's super hard to control myself that time because Madeline was just so weak, it was a perfect opportunity that can never be missed. Before I reached the door of Madeline's place, a rush of wind circled around the streets, up my spine and down my throat. Quickly, my body collided against the wall and my breath tightens up, "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Perseus growls as he wraps his hand around my neck. By this point, I was off the ground, shaking away to save the little life I had. I couldn't say anything as I start to panic, at that moment, I felt like my time has come. I was going to die today. The thought of me dying freaked me out. Perseus wouldn't kill me though, right? Who knows, both of us are so unpredictable, that's probably why we were able to handle each other at times. Everything that I have done flashed through my mind as Perseus continues to hold me in the same position and I starting to lose my breathing. It was getting harder and harder to consume air. Sophia, I'm almost there. Then, something cold touched my body, it was the ground. Immediately, I coughed trying to catch for air. Perseus brushed himself off as if he has touched something dirty, oh yeah, me. He took a step closer, "I said, what the hell do you think you're doing here?" I was scared for my life. Of course, I knew the consequences of coming to Madeline's place, but it was the only way to reach Perseus, even if it could risk my life. I knew I had to. For a whole minute, the silent air was filled with my constant cough, still trying to catch air. He really does get stronger when he's angry like everyone said. "Well, I-I need to talk to you." I tried to say to Perseus, but I don't think he was fully listening to me. So, I spoke again until my voice was heard, "I need to talk to you, please." He didn't answer back. All he did was look around and then started to walk away, "You are not worth my time Alderam." Knowing that he was going to run away from me, I started up getting up to meet him. At this point, I was desperate. I needed help and I don't know where else to go. "I think I'm falling down. I don't know what's wrong with me. I constantly wish to be here or wherever that place you tried to lead me into. Perseus, I need your help. Please." I begged him to the point where I feel like I was going to cry. Everything, doesn't make sense. I am utterly confused and my mind is constantly not with my heart because I don't know where my heart is. The thought of me freaking out, makes me freak out even know. Slowly, my breath tightens again, my heart is racing faster. Everything was spinning, and I could not control myself. I need him, I was determined to find him. Although, when I did, things were still going down. They were black and blue, so broken like me. I have fallen down this hole I cannot get out of. It's dark and scary, I didn't know what to do so I just keep falling, until I collapsed. Temptation and desperation. It went so well together, it was harmful. There it was, lying there. I watched the screen turns black and reached out for it, but told myself not to touch it. I am stronger than this. I don't need this metal to complete myself. All I need was me, sitting here, and write down my thoughts. I cannot finish a piece. Why is that? I've been doing so well, too well I fell. Think about it more, I told myself. My heart begins to quicken. My mouth sealed shut. What was I doing? Thinking became my maze. What happened? I do not know.
I looked at the clock, the actions repeat. Heart raced faster, and the room got more silent only to be consumed with Ed Sheeran's voice. Monday, it was all due on Monday I reminded myself. How am I supposed to be done everything on Monday? Stupid. What? Stupid, you should've done all of this in time. You left it all last minute that's what happened.... oh I couldn't speak and I was confused. I had no idea what was happening and it just felt like Spotify's advertisement made it so much worse. As the seconds goes by with the ad, I felt the need to runaway from it. The music just kept getting louder as it kept playing faster, I couldn't contain myself. Everything came crashing down and I don't know what's happening to me. It's not a panic attack, I think. It's just a sense of reality hitting me way too hard. I didn't spend my time properly. I couldn't finish things I needed to. I'm just going to write and keep on writing. This is one of only time I feel super vulnerable right now because I would always be able to keep myself together but at the moment, I am everywhere. Temptation and desperation? I don't even know why I wrote that. Maybe it's the temptation to find an easy solution to finish all of this. Find ways to get help and do less work. I knew that was definitely something I'm not going to do. It showed my sign of desperation. I want things to be done, but at the end of the day, these work needs my own stuff. This is actually concerning me that I am freaking out about writing this much. I probably should take a break, but there's many more things I need to work on. If you are reading this, congratulations, you survived World War Three. It's so easy to lose all the meaning of who you are. You'd like to find excuses and blame anything and everything except the truth, that's you. Was it beauty? Was it money? Was it power? Was it fame? What's the meaning and purpose behind all this game? We have come so far that we lost ourselves. Things will never be the same again, so we wrote a song about it and sang out loud. They always told us to be careful how we play our game. I wish we listened to them because look at us now. Funny how it all goes around. We chose, build, kill, praise, and hate ourselves. Things continue to be the same and nothing is changing. I lost my soul, I lost it all. I had everything but nothing as it all seems to fall. I thought I had you, oh how was I wrong? Funny how it all goes around. History repeats itself and I am no where but stuck here, alone. Like I said, I lost my soul, I lost it all. How could I possibly come back from this fall? Oh I was wrong, I don't know where to go. Funny how it all goes around. I can see it all now, how messed up we all are. Every flaw, scratch, scar of the world, I see them. Yesterday, I called a friend I loved and told them about my struggles, but was constantly asked to give. Obviously, those words were hurtful, but I could not show them. They don't care anyways. They said they cared, but do they? They shaped me, but break me and blind me to guide me. Funny how it all goes around. I lost my soul, I lost it all. I had everything, how could I let things fall? I thought I had you, oh how was I wrong? Funny how it all goes around. You hear the cries and listened, I heard you cried but couldn't. I told you to never let me down and you did. What all went wrong? I lost my soul, I lost it all. How could I possibly come back from this fall? Oh I was wrong, I don't know where to go. Funny how it all goes around. Tori Kelly is someone I listen to when I need the inspiration to write. She is able to make me feel certain emotions that I cannot explain. Her album, Unbreakable Smile, is an amazing record. Funny is one of the songs that is in her album and I really like this song because she was able to use irony through her lyrics.
It talks about getting lost through the time and change, realizing how the impact doesn't just revolve around one person. I'm guessing for her, it has to do with something in the music and entertainment industry. Growing up 'famous' and being an artist. It can be hard for them because they don't know who to trust because some people are there just for the money and the glory, but never realize that it's not always the case. To look at it in a better perspective, I thought of struggling. People always say that you find out someone's true self when you're at your low point. You notice who is supporting you through thick and thin and watch those that flee away because issues pile up. I love the pre-chorus and the chorus. It has such a beautiful meaning to it and whenever I listen to the song, it makes me think about my life and how aware I can get having people around me. "If you lose your soul, you lose it all. If you're at the top then brace for the fall. Surrounded by faces, no one to call. Funny how it all goes around." It hits me hard whenever I hear or see those lyrics because I've been into many situations where I pour my heart and soul into a friendship, but get nothing in return. By getting something in return, I don't mean in a gift or those type of ways. I meant getting the same treatment. Friends can be blinded by things they chose to ignore and most of the time, that's what happens. It helps me to chose better people in my life and it seems that every year I get happier as I try to find the right people to be with. Anyways, if you haven't checked out Tori Kelly, that's a must! Her vocals are killer and her songs are out of this world! (She makes me feel like I'm in a relationship or in a break up.) Enjoy and have a wonderful day! I told him I wanted to go home. I asked for it with no question or plead. It was a demand that I was desperate to have. Home is a strange word. What does it really mean? When do you know a place is your home? I came back feeling lost, I went back and felt empty. Confusion swallows me as I walk further to my original spot. What am I doing? How do I stop? Where is everyone?
Thinking that coming back home will fix everything was one of the most stupid mistakes I've made in my life. Who am I to fool that things could be fixed. It can only get better or worse and it feels like this situation has just gone downhill. I'm alone, no Perseus, Queen Sophia, or even light Madeline. I feel like I lost my soul. I have the idea how to get out of this place. No one can help me, so all I did was cried. I cried when there were no more tears left to shed. The tears would stop rolling but sudden movement broke me down into smaller pieces. I was so weak, I sensed it, my own weakness. My mind is so messed up that I thought ways to make it worse. I wanted the pain to be worse than it already is. Hurting myself became a constant thought. It was dark and scary, so I cried to get away from it, but that didn't work. Nothing seems to be going right. Should I ask Perseus for advice to going back to stay with him? What would he even think of me? You're a fool, make up your mind. Why can't you think straight? Stop crying. This is why you lost Sophia. STOP STOP STOP! I didn't realize that I was yelling until I felt a hand touched my shoulder. Immediately frighten of a stranger's contact, I pushed the hand away and never noticed who it was. What's the point of this? Of anything? Everything is going to be okay. How can it not be? You are Alderam, partner of Queen Sophia. Yes, she may be missing at the moment, but it wasn't your fault. You are not lonely because you want to be lonely. It's not your fault just because you are involved. Think about it Alderam, life moves on. People change, things happen. Find your light, Perseus is amazing at pulling people into his little scheme. Do you think he really wants to be your friend and show you the world? Are you kidding me? He's going to destroy you. Take your soul away just like how you took his lover. He blames you for everything that happens. Are you going to let that happen? Do it. Let him take you away. Do it Alderam, what's stopping you? STOP STOP STOP! I've had enough with everyone, including myself. I need to get away, but I don't know where my destination is. You have to find Perseus. I have to find Perseus. Writing has always been hard for me and I feel like it gets even harder around this time of the year- a new year. All the things that happened fall upon your lap as you look back to the mistakes, regrets and the beautiful outcome it had in your life.
December has always been one of a really good month for everyone (I'm hoping). You have the holidays where you get to spend time with your loved ones and appreciate all those times you have together and then the time to collect thoughts and memories held within the year. 2015 was a rollercoaster. I don't know if it's just me, but I felt that a lot happened this year that it's quite hard to forget. So many events happened that we know it's going to be talked about again in the future and just the impact of those situations translating to our actions. I am sitting here at 3 in the morning wondering what there is for me to write. Throughout this winter break I had, I've been meaning to write something special and meaningful, but never got the chance to because no words could express my emotion. Although I am here now, I don't know how well I'm doing. 2015 was a big year not only for me but to many others as well. Within a year, I learned more things about myself than I could've maybe 5 years ago. I found my passion, love and focus. I got to know myself in a way I don't think I even understand and knowing that I'm doing alright makes me feel.... good. For a few years now, I came to realize and accept that I am very negative towards myself. I am always a positive person towards others but felt the need to pick on my own flaws. Knowing how low I was, I felt the need to give up and believe those thoughts I had towards myself. 2015 is change, it represents change and that's what happened to me. Coming to high school changed my perspective. It helped me shape myself and shake me out of the internal pain I had. My eyes were re-opened and I found me, a more positive person towards myself and a new perspective. I always try to think I am a very accepting person of others, but I didn't fully believe myself until this year. Coming from grade 9, I was taught from day one that we define our own success. Of course, I've heard those words many times before, but I never took the time to listen to it. I would pressure myself into perfecting everything even though I know nothing is perfect. I would tell myself things weren't good enough when they were. If I didn't speak to someone who dealt with the same situation as me, I don't think I would be the person I am today. Having this new perspective changed me for the better. Sometimes I seem careless, but I think that's me stopping myself from stressing out. If I let things go and try my hardest, knowing I put lots of effort into it, that's my success. I don't need to look at others and compare myself to make me feel bad and think that's a motivation. I think that's unhealthy. It's totally fine if someone find other's success their motivation, but I think that's weak. Your motivation shouldn't be based on others and their actions. Your goal should be something for you, focus on you and change your life. If you constantly compare yourself to other people and make yourself feel bad thinking it's okay because that's how you'll improve, that's really unhealthy. Moving on, this seems weird, but I want to take this time to thank the year. It was a perfect timing for many events. Things felt right to happen in 2015. Even though we live in Canada, it was exciting to hear about the gay marriage rights being legal in all 50 states in the United States. The world came together to celebrate an event happening in one single country. I find that beautiful because it's another step of breaking down those diversity walls (if that makes sense). We are screaming for change and different and we got it in the most beautiful way possible. Change: something that impacts our lives. Can change be memorable or should it be forgotten? Change in perspective, is it always good or do we need to change that changed perspective? Impact, did it destroy us or did we destroy them? I'm running out of things to say because this is not something I can finish. It's a continuation of the years before that I didn't write. It's me attempting to reflect the year and how it impacted me. Although, I felt that I didn't touch much on what I originally planned to, it's okay. Thank you all that read my blog and is reading this right now. You are very important to me because you are always there to listen. I hope you had a wonderful year, here's to more. Farewell 2015, see you soon 2016... Sadly, I couldn't find the original version to the song, but this cover is also amazing. Definitely check it out if you haven't, enjoy! If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you. Nothing can tear us apart because you are my everything, always my everything. Ask me whatever you want and I will give it all if I have to. Please don't hurt me as I'm slowly tearing myself down for you. Pay attention, this won't take long. I'm at my weakest moment, just for you. Only you, I'll show what's inside this broken heart. Only me, promise to never forget who you are. I slowly see half of me in a lost dream as you slowly walk away. Know me, I beg. All anyone could ask is for your love. Your soft smile and your beautiful laugh. For your eyes only, it's my whole world. For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart. I still got the scars. Those wounds don't fix themselves that's why I need you so much. The constant reminder of the pain caused wash away every time you touch me. Our love that can never be written can solve all the problem in this world. I am numb by this new realization, all I could do is write you a song. For crying out loud, look at me. Hear my love out because I don't want to lose something so crucial in my life. Right now, I'm completely defenseless, what do I do? Only you, I need to show you my heart. Only me, never let me go. I saw what was missing when you left. Desperately asking you for one more time. I need you to stay. For your eyes only, watch our love grow and blossom into this beautiful creation. For my eyes only, all I need is you. Can you feel it? My love bursting through these words. What do I do? I've been going out of my mind. Haven't heard from you in a while. Is it over? Am I wasting my time? Only if I could fly, then you wouldn't run away from me. For your eyes only, I showed you my heart. And when you were lost and lonely, I was there. Apart of me is missing because you took it. That's okay because you finally know me. If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you. Maybe then, we wouldn't be so apart. If I Could Fly is one of the best ballads One Direction has ever produced by far. I've been a fan for quite a while and saw their music progress. With their new album, they showed variety of materials that is made just for their fifth album. When expressing my thoughts towards this record, I always find myself speechless at how beautiful the melody of it is. I can't really say anything more. The piano builds up and up and you just continue to carry this hopeful love, you never want it to end. You can hear them crying out for their love especially through their lyrics. I'm incredibly happy one of the members wrote this song because it's definitely one of their best work. Great work boys!
The rain continues to fall as the storm stirs up the city. Everything was ruined. It was a mess, all of it is destroyed and I could only watch as it continues to happen. Things were falling apart right in front of me. I couldn't do anything, I was helpless. I looked outside the window again, lightning continuously hits the surface. At this moment, the room went quiet, until the thunder once again crashes. It felt lonely, being here all by myself when everyone tries to abandon me. Does no one want me? What did I do wrong? Light, that's what I'm supposed to be, but I failed. Madeline cried because of me. She wasn't happy, and that was because of my stupidity. I lost control, but it felt so great. It was amazing to have that much power that I didn't want to let it go. How could you? When you have so much control, you never want to let that feeling go. It's as if it was some sort of drug that was inside of me and my reaction was the effect of this high. It's addicting and I want more of it. The door opened, light eyes Perseus entered the room, "Hello," he greets softly. I nodded back to him. We barely spoke since the incident and it is quite scary because Perseus' reaction could be anything. Well, he already freaked out in front of me before when I was taking those actions, but no words were spoken afterwards. I'm quite surprised he hasn't tried to hurt me yet. I was ready for his pain, but they never came. "What you did, it wasn't okay." He sat down on my bed. Perseus looks tired, exhausted and just not healthy. I found my seat next to him and sat down. "Although, I cannot tell you what you can or cannot do. That is your choice and you happened to do that. Please do not ever, I mean ever speak to Madeline with that tone or attitude again." He looked out the window as he spoke, trying to hide the fact that this situation really bothers him more than he wants me to know. "Madeline. She cannot take comments like yours well and it is just no good. I am not sure if she is ready to see you yet because I myself, think that it would not be a good idea. Though, that does not mean you will not apologize. You will and I will make sure of it." I nodded, agreeing with what he has to say. Guilt is completely washing over me. Sophia, where are you now to lead me to a better place. Why did you have to leave me here all alone? Why did I ever agree to come to this place? My mouth starts to itch and once again I lost control, "I want to go home." I blurted out. Perseus quickly turns around facing towards me, his eyes grew wide. "You, you want to leave?" He spoke in disbelief. I couldn't tell exactly what he was feeling, but I am definitely sure he wasn't happy about that. "Oh," was all that left his mouth. Did I really want to go home? Perseus slowly got up and walked to the windows. His face tense up for a second and soften as he turns around. He took a long sigh and nodded, "If that is what you wish to happen." His eyes were the lightest I have seen as he looked at me and gave me a weak smile. Not long after he return gazing through the windows and left me alone to pack my things. This was it, I was going home-or so I thought. how did you like that part? hope everything makes sense. i tried my very best to describe the situation, but at the same time not because there are things I must keep to myself to enhance the story/plot. enjoy!We cry for freedom, something we wanted all our lives, but when we got it, freedom was ignored. Isn't it funny how we abuse our powers? We constantly tell ourselves that what we do results in what we will do, so why aren't people trying to better themselves? Tell me if I'm wrong, over and over again people complain about the restrictions society puts on us. Though, I feel like it changes no one's actions because people still act the same no matter what. We are stuck with those habits, but people need to put effort into trying to fix themselves. During class, we discussed productivity and many brought up the idea of being too free and not having a base for writing and working. I think that's just bizarre. Do people really want to convince others and themselves that if a teacher or someone else tells you to do something we will? Come on! We control ourselves, I don't see how we can't be the ones who make our own base. As some of you may know, I struggled a lot throughout this blog to find where I stand with writing posts. I felt that me struggling was a good thing and it motivated me. Struggling meant that I was trying to get the best work out there. I didn't want to just publish whatever it was and not have great quality. Although with me saying this, I think that posting 2 blog posts a week is fine. If you're concluding that you are having trouble writing two a week then set time for yourself. That's just you being irresponsible. You have no one else to blame for your actions except for yourself. Time management is key and if you can't do that then find ways. You are your own solution, the best person to help out. If you're not even willing to help yourself, then why expect others to? Okay, I, myself don't even post two blog posts. I understand why some might not listen, but I feel like I have a great explanation on why that is. Every post on this blog means something special. They all have their own messages, no matter who reads it. I work on those blogs for a week and try to perfect it even though I know that nothing is perfect. You can see the length of my writing, they are not short, it is not something I can just write in half an hour. That won't be my good work. I want to remind you I am not productive all the time. Every single moment of my life isn't productive. I have to admit I slack off a lot, but I feel like me admitting to that helps me get to a closer step of my goal. It makes me realize what I could do, which then pushes me into getting the work done because I have already plot up ideas. Hearing all the comments today about people becoming lazy because of all this freedom is very disappointing to hear. Has my class become so brainwashed that we are crying for restrictions to come back? I thought that people knew what they were stepping into. This class, environment-everything is suppose to be different. We were not meant to be like everyone or anything that exist in this world. Why am I surrounded with people who think we need a box to think differently? Signing up to something different means you accept that there will be flaws, mistakes, newness. You signed up to be taught differently, if you wanted the same things, then go back to class because this is not for you. I enjoy what I do, that's why I'm here right now and do what I do. I enjoy having this freedom. When we cried for freedom, I screamed for it until my voice was heard. I never stopped screaming for my writing to be free and with this opportunity I have, I will never let it go. We don't have that much time left to appreciate this. I can guarantee you many will regret ever wanting to go back to the old ways once they step behind the lines. Or maybe they won't because society shaped them so much. I love it and I wouldn't change a thing. The blog is my base. The blog is their base. The blog is our base, yet they don't know how to use it because it's not a box they can think outside off. Freedom is something we are suppose to cherish not be thrown once we make contact of it. People aren't trying hard enough. They are lazy and irresponsible. We were given a hard task that's easy in disguise. We destroy our decisions yet that's not who we blame. We cry for freedom, something we wanted all our lives, but when we got it, freedom was ignored. let me know what you think, I'm always welcoming something new.Something new. I love those words. Something new, told me that I could change up things in my life that I couldn't before. It meant that I accepted the outcome of something I wouldn't, couldn't or never did before. Something new felt great, it brings joy to my life.
Whenever I start writing, I always think back to where I was or am. I think about my history, past and the future of course. When that pen hits the paper, when my fingers press the keyboard, every emotion, song and thoughts floods through my body. As I try to get my ideas across while my brain tries to process it all, everything can be overwhelming. I constantly tell myself that everything I'm writing doesn't make sense. Then, I stop because I listened to myself. Wait, wait, wait-what are you writing? Does this actually make sense? Is this something you want to show other people? Read it over now. Wait, wait, wait- what are you writing? When the last sentence hits the final page, I once again looked at what apparently seems to be my creation. Sometimes I don't see them as writing. I see them as pages, filled with meaningless words. You can do better than this. DRAFT. No one would be interested. DRAFT. Don't write too long, you're scaring people away. DRAFT. No one understands what you're writing. DRAFT. DRAFT. Draft. draft. I throw them away and quickly chased them back because I didn't know how to let go. It's a difficult choice to let something go. You create something and treasure it. Even if it was for a few second, minutes, hours, days and so on, you still have a special place for it in your heart no matter what. Thirteen drafts. Lying beneath the screen there are 13 drafts. Thirteen writings that I pour myself into, but they were not good enough. They are undone, unprepared and just meaningless, but I couldn't drop them. So I found something new. I love those words. It told me that I could change up things in my life that I tried to cut out. It meant that I accepted the outcome of something I wouldn't, couldn't or never did before. Being able to erase and continue on was important for me to see because I need to overcome that. Find something new, I told others. Find something new, I couldn't tell myself. |
authorI'm Chali, an 18 year old girl, simply writing to find herself Process
April 2017
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