I need to find him. I was determined to find Perseus through all this dark, light nonsense. He needs to help, he needs to know and understand. What exactly did he need to know? I'm not fully sure on that but I know it revolves around me. As selfish as that may sound, I need this.
My mind is constantly filled with emotions and thoughts I've never experienced with before and it's totally something that's strange and different. I don't wish to vividly imagine hurting myself in any way, but I don't know how to fix everything when I feel so broken down. Constantly my thoughts go back to Perseus. At the moment, he seems like my saviour. So, let's hope he is. The first thing I knew I had to do was go to Madeline. She was the easiest target to reach Perseus, so I slowly made my way back to her apartment, also known as the demon place. Whenever I find myself in that atmosphere, I tend to lose it. Although, it's super hard to control myself that time because Madeline was just so weak, it was a perfect opportunity that can never be missed. Before I reached the door of Madeline's place, a rush of wind circled around the streets, up my spine and down my throat. Quickly, my body collided against the wall and my breath tightens up, "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Perseus growls as he wraps his hand around my neck. By this point, I was off the ground, shaking away to save the little life I had. I couldn't say anything as I start to panic, at that moment, I felt like my time has come. I was going to die today. The thought of me dying freaked me out. Perseus wouldn't kill me though, right? Who knows, both of us are so unpredictable, that's probably why we were able to handle each other at times. Everything that I have done flashed through my mind as Perseus continues to hold me in the same position and I starting to lose my breathing. It was getting harder and harder to consume air. Sophia, I'm almost there. Then, something cold touched my body, it was the ground. Immediately, I coughed trying to catch for air. Perseus brushed himself off as if he has touched something dirty, oh yeah, me. He took a step closer, "I said, what the hell do you think you're doing here?" I was scared for my life. Of course, I knew the consequences of coming to Madeline's place, but it was the only way to reach Perseus, even if it could risk my life. I knew I had to. For a whole minute, the silent air was filled with my constant cough, still trying to catch air. He really does get stronger when he's angry like everyone said. "Well, I-I need to talk to you." I tried to say to Perseus, but I don't think he was fully listening to me. So, I spoke again until my voice was heard, "I need to talk to you, please." He didn't answer back. All he did was look around and then started to walk away, "You are not worth my time Alderam." Knowing that he was going to run away from me, I started up getting up to meet him. At this point, I was desperate. I needed help and I don't know where else to go. "I think I'm falling down. I don't know what's wrong with me. I constantly wish to be here or wherever that place you tried to lead me into. Perseus, I need your help. Please." I begged him to the point where I feel like I was going to cry. Everything, doesn't make sense. I am utterly confused and my mind is constantly not with my heart because I don't know where my heart is. The thought of me freaking out, makes me freak out even know. Slowly, my breath tightens again, my heart is racing faster. Everything was spinning, and I could not control myself. I need him, I was determined to find him. Although, when I did, things were still going down. They were black and blue, so broken like me. I have fallen down this hole I cannot get out of. It's dark and scary, I didn't know what to do so I just keep falling, until I collapsed.
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authorI'm Chali, an 18 year old girl, simply writing to find herself Process
April 2017
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