I told him I wanted to go home. I asked for it with no question or plead. It was a demand that I was desperate to have. Home is a strange word. What does it really mean? When do you know a place is your home? I came back feeling lost, I went back and felt empty. Confusion swallows me as I walk further to my original spot. What am I doing? How do I stop? Where is everyone?
Thinking that coming back home will fix everything was one of the most stupid mistakes I've made in my life. Who am I to fool that things could be fixed. It can only get better or worse and it feels like this situation has just gone downhill. I'm alone, no Perseus, Queen Sophia, or even light Madeline. I feel like I lost my soul. I have the idea how to get out of this place. No one can help me, so all I did was cried.
I cried when there were no more tears left to shed. The tears would stop rolling but sudden movement broke me down into smaller pieces. I was so weak, I sensed it, my own weakness. My mind is so messed up that I thought ways to make it worse. I wanted the pain to be worse than it already is. Hurting myself became a constant thought. It was dark and scary, so I cried to get away from it, but that didn't work.
Nothing seems to be going right. Should I ask Perseus for advice to going back to stay with him? What would he even think of me? You're a fool, make up your mind. Why can't you think straight? Stop crying. This is why you lost Sophia. STOP STOP STOP!
I didn't realize that I was yelling until I felt a hand touched my shoulder. Immediately frighten of a stranger's contact, I pushed the hand away and never noticed who it was. What's the point of this? Of anything?
Everything is going to be okay. How can it not be? You are Alderam, partner of Queen Sophia. Yes, she may be missing at the moment, but it wasn't your fault. You are not lonely because you want to be lonely. It's not your fault just because you are involved. Think about it Alderam, life moves on. People change, things happen. Find your light, Perseus is amazing at pulling people into his little scheme. Do you think he really wants to be your friend and show you the world? Are you kidding me? He's going to destroy you. Take your soul away just like how you took his lover. He blames you for everything that happens. Are you going to let that happen? Do it. Let him take you away. Do it Alderam, what's stopping you?
STOP STOP STOP!
I've had enough with everyone, including myself. I need to get away, but I don't know where my destination is. You have to find Perseus. I have to find Perseus.