This is frustrating. You try to write anything possible, but your heart isn't in it. Your mind continues to tell you to write whatever your heart desires-but it doesn't want anything at the moment! At this point while I am writing this, I have gone through at least 7-8 paragraphs of writing what I think is nonsense, I've been just starting over piece over piece. It's not even a writers block. It's a.....writers' heart, loving block?
At first I was writing about observations and how those we see and hear reflect on our own actions and personality, but it just didn't work out so I stopped and went back to my 12 942 409 drafts that I have and found that I started writing a piece about how we are all in a dishonest society. It all ties up with the introduction of being observant.
I didn't bother finishing the writings at all because it just doesn't feel right. Yes, I can make the words appear on the screen and just continue to type up whatever it is, but if it's not interesting why do I bother to continue? This is exactly what I'm feeling right now. Whatever this writers block thing is, needs to stop. I'll continue to write until it goes away, but there's no guarantee good work is being put out.
Believe me, I have tried everything that usually gets me creative and all super pumped up to write. I tried reading other people's blogs, listening to James Bay, then other artist and even took a break from writing and read whatever I had back to myself. NOTHING. It is so frustrating because as much as I need to post a certain amount of blogs in a certain amount of time I have, I will not be publishing crappy blog posts like some of my peers have been producing.
Sorry to say that but if you are reading this and you happen to be in my class, you know it's true. You've said it yourself. Everyone is never always good at something instantly. A lot of people compliment me with my writing, but they never realized that I struggled to get to where I am today. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in a blog post already but I'll say it again because I think it's super important for people to understand that it takes practice and true passion to succeed.
I used to hate writing because I knew I wasn't good. English isn't my first language so, I was already struggling to learn everything. Still today, I have a lot of troubles with my tenses, I will unconsciously switch from past to present. I never wanted to write because I felt that it just made me feel worse since I don't know how to fix it. Then, somehow, this transformation occurred within me around grade seven and eight and I just wanted to try writing. I was growing up, and I was reading more. Writing became an interest, and I wanted to know how people can write such a beautiful piece. So I started writing little things, testing where my mind takes me and that's it, that's where it all began. Of course, I continued to tell myself that my writing wasn't good so that motivated me to do better. I look back and ask myself what I could do better or what were the things that I did in a piece that was really well done that can be transfer to another piece. As I did that, I got myself here, where you are reading now and how people see me today.
Okay, so writing that wasn't as bad as I thought, but I have no idea if I should post this or not. I like to think that it is good though that I feel this way and I'm writing a lot even if it doesn't get publish. I have grown to be comfortable and used to this blog that I feel I can say whatever I want but still be able to get my message across. Anyways, if you see this post (if I do choose to post), congratulations, you survived World War Three.
*Yes, I did say this to my previous post too but oh well*